WHILE YOU WAIT…

I find it funny and annoying that some ladies think of marriage as a life time achievement. I mean, some of us literally live and breathe just to get married. Oh no, do not get me wrong. I do think and talk about marriage too and I am excitedly looking forward to mine. My close friends know I am a hopeless romantic! My point is, some single ladies actually think that marriage is the only thing that will “complete” them, make them happy or fulfilled.

No. I disagree

Marriage to me is just an aspect of your life so why sit and wait for it to happen like it is all you are living for or all you need? What happens to the other areas of your life that require attention? I read and see pretty ladies remain in abusive relationships all because they think the man is their ONLY ticket to a ring. When I say abusive, I mean both physical and verbal abuse, we may not realise it but, verbal abuse does more harm irreparable harm than physical abuse does. It is baffling to see a lady sit tight in a relationship where a man talks down at her, destroying her self-confidence, self-esteem and making her live in fear all for a proposal. Sigh…

Honey, you will regret that marriage when it happens because it won’t get better.

I do not subscribe to putting your whole life on pause just because you are nearly 30 years old and waiting to get married or in some cases, looking for a man to get hooked to. You shouldn’t even be looking! Trust me, life doesn’t revolve around marriage alone.

Get busy with yourself and stop being afraid of being alone. There is a huge difference between being ALONE and being LONLEY. Being alone for me is a very good phase that should be used wisely. It is:

•  the time where you should channel your energy into discovering and developing your personality; 
• improving on your potentials; time to accomplish personal goals and pursue a variety of interests;
•  learn a new skill that will come in handy tomorrow; pursue those business ideas u have and start becoming financially independent;
•  time to upgrade your CV –there are a lot of free online courses out there etc
•  Invest. You might not have much, but you can invest time and small resources in people around you who require it. There are also investment houses too around. It's not too early to start a personal pension scheme.
• Discover talents you didn't know you had.
• Keep re-inventing yourself.

 Being single isn't bad. it is not a curse. It's a time when you get a life! …Don’t get lost in the shadow of others, living life as carbon copies when you are created as an original.

If you are not happy now as a single lady, if you are overly anxious, frustrated or impatient, chances are that marriage won’t help you. You will simply take those problems/wrong attitudes of yours into your marriage and frustrate the poor man too. So while you wait, why don’t you work on yourself, your emotions and attitudes?

The pressure society puts on ladies have coloured our reasoning. So I can understand the phase of creating loneliness when there is none because you are not in a relationship or marriage.

 Snap out of it. I mean it's good to wonder but worrying won't bring him faster you know? If you are lonely because you do not have a boyfriend or a husband, I believe there is a problem. It means you have too much time on your hands and you aren’t busy enough! Yes! There are a thousand and one things to do to keep busy. Just do something! You are too beautiful to be wasting precious time.

Again, do not get me wrong. I think of marriage and babies, I think of weddings. A lot. In fact I have all my plans in my head. (Let’s hope the lucky man agrees to them. Lol)  but I will not fold my arms and wait for prince charming. HELL NO!

Ruth in the bible was busy working with her hands in the field when Boaz found her and today she is in the lineage of Jesus. (Ruth 2:2-9, 4:13-22). Note the emphasis on the words 'busy' and 'found'. Now you get my drift?

Honey, please do not just sit and wait. Get busy while you wait!

Remember, only God can fill a void. Not marriage.

Have a FAB weekend!

Love, always,

Ella….xxx