No one in this age can underestimate
the power of social media any longer. It has come to stay. These days it has
become a tool to boost businesses or destroy anything/anyone. I am more
interested in its effect on relationships because it seems nearly every relationship
is on display on every social media platform available –the good sweet moments,
the gifts, and the romance. They keep saying love (or is it marriage?) is not a
bed of roses but no one remembers to post the horrible and not-so-great-moments
for us to see as well. This could be termed the “social media perfect”
relationships.
The married ones ain’t helping too. They keep sharing the “sweet
side” enough to make some of us wish we were married. Nearly everyone’s pm/dp
reads “My husband is the best…” OR “If I were to choose again, I will choose u
over and over…” OR “Share this if u
have the best husband in the world…” So who are the ones being abused and traumatised by their spouses? where are the ladies who say that "...marriage is a different ball game from dating" oh wait, they are not on social media??! Well, after speaking with a couple of close married friends about marriage, I have concluded that the whole social media
thing has been overdone and doesn’t hold so much weight anymore. Hey, this is
only my opinion!
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| SOURCE: shavarross.com |
Recently I was telling my friend Sue
that I was thinking of shutting down from every social media platform for a
while to let me catch my breath from the buzz. No, I am not jealous of anyone
but whether we like to admit it or not, those of us who are single or do not
have the media perfect relationships are constantly mentally and psychologically
assaulted by those who are! It has become a per minute affair. At this point I need to add a DISCLAIMER that I am NOT against
people displaying their partners, lovers or love life on social media. I say
this because some people might consider this topic sensitive and see it from a
particular angle without thinking of the writer’s point of view.
I stumbled on an argument regarding
this on Instagram a few days ago and I was amused to find out that most of the
ladies felt that putting your partner on
display will help curb his cheating. Am
sorry but I consider this reason dumb because a man or even a lady who wants to
cheat will gladly put you on display and make you his/her profile picture just to
you make you feel safe and think that he/she is fully committed to
that relationship. If you need the social media to keep your partner in check,
something is definitely not right! A person who is going to cheat will cheat so
posting online about you isn’t an assurance that it won’t happen! So if that is
your reason for adopting the social media strategy, bleeh! You have failed this
one. Simply put, People show off their partners for different reasons, yours
might be showing you off for the WRONG reason!
So when next you are scrolling through
your timeline and soaking in people’s updates about their I-have-it-all-together-and-I-am-super-happy
life, do the following:
- · NEVER EVER ASSUME: Do u know how many times I have seen a cute couple who complement each other, who seem so happy, together and in-love break up? Naturally everyone would think “OMG! They looked so happy/good/cute together!” Oh well, I guess we all assume everyone who show us their pretty moments are truly happy. Sorry to disappoint you hunny, the bad that happens behind the camera is never revealed. You do not know what is going on so do not make assumptions based on pictures! Bear in mind that some people share these posts for the wrong reasons –to show off and to deceive gullible people.
- · NEVER COMPARE OR COPY ANYONE: Comparison is the thief of joy. Ever heard that? Social media has made everyone’s life almost an open book so it is easy for you to see through other people’s life and compare their “progress”. This has also made it easy for jealousy to breed. Avoid this because you will only end up trying to copy and re-create another person’s life- a perfect picture meant to attract likes, followers and comments on Instagram, facebook, BBM, etc - which is not entirely true.
Remember that everyone is on an
individual journey. No one’s story is the same. So take time to create and live
yours as truthfully as your can. Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with
sharing your happy life with us on social media. Please do so by all means if
it makes you happier, if you can handle the invasion of privacy that comes with
it (of course it puts virtually the world into your business) and if you are
strong enough to protect your relationship/family from the intrusion. If not,
KEEP OFF!
****This topic is one which can be exhausted in a short piece like this one but I decided to give it a go. Majority
might disagree with my opinion but its fine because if you all were to agree with me
then I have monopoly of knowledge which of course is not true. I hope to start
a discourse on this to hear what you think. So please drop your comments below!
Ella...xxx
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteVery touchy topic indeed. That's how one guy was already giving me rules and regulations about Public Display of Affection (PDA) and showcasing stuff on social media, if only he knew it was the last thing on my mind. Anyways people should do what works for them.A lot of people are displaying relationships that are poorly tended. Summary - the grass ain't greener at the other side. Water and tend your grass! Pics are beautiful but could be deceptive. I
ReplyDeletevery true Adesuwa. people are different. do what works for u. its cool to post on FB and instagram etc but be sure you are being totally honest and that o are on the same page with your partner on it.
DeleteNice piece! there is also the show-off element to it too. i feel social media allows people live a lie. Only showing the good bits, the good pictures, the holidays, the man, But life is full of ups and downs. People can easily get depressed by seeing someone else's seemingly perfect life. I also feel people who post multiple things are insecure and need some sort of affirmation. they need people to like and comment to feel secure. It is sad when you look at what is really happening deep down with them.
ReplyDelete*Trying to imagine
DeleteAm personally a private person so I won't encourage any form of public display of affection. Because u show the world that you are in a relationship, so once you breakup, the whole world knows
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic. The entertainment is what pays the owners and operators of these social media. I always admire from afar these "all is well" beautiful picture and in my mind i just say lifeis turn by turn, so na dia time..............AMAKA
ReplyDelete