HOW TO WOO A LADY IN THE 21ST CENTURY By Adesuwa Iluobe

I am back again! (and the crowd goes wild). Yes, remember me? Okay so you don’t, but you remember that infamous post – How to get a man in the 21^st century? Ah ha! Got you! If you have not read that post, do not be a slacker, read it HERE . Yes, so after that post generated a lot of heat (and of course it provided guidance to a lot of ladies out there) some guys have asked me to flip the coin. That is exactly what this post is all about.

Source: www.ericrobersonmusic.com

A lot of guys bemoan how difficult it is to get a decent lady these days. They say it is difficult and is like searching for diamond in a hay sack. Phew! All this whining makes me wonder “who are these guys listening to? Listen to me -

Now, kindly follow the tips below and you would looking for me in no distant future.

1.      MAKE MONEY FIRST – I am talking about tons of it. What you men do not

know is that some ladies already believe that along the way there would be cheating, mess-ups would happen, lies, etc., only money heals these things. Only money. Once there is money you can junket the whole world for all we care. What is this nonsense some guys say these days? That you are looking for a woman to build and toil with you? Is that in the Bible? Who gave the Proverbs 31 woman land, or machine or resources to work? Her man of course! Those things are not purchased with sand but money!  Stop kidding yourself in premature relationships. Biko, get off your ass and look for money. Thank you.

2.      2. LADIES WANT TO HEAR ALL THE NICE THINGS – Life is hard already, I do not understand why a simple date has to be serious? Those talks

about career, dreams, aspirations, wanting to really know her…Please life is not that serious. When she has not been told enough that she is beautiful? (A wise woman recently said her beauty is an asset), get creative there are a billion ways to extol her physique.  How about the cars you have? Your house and the money you earn? What is your networth? What have you bought for her or what can buy or do for her? People are marrying in two weeks and you are there appraising a woman like she is a specie in a Biology lab for donkey years.  Odiegwu. You are not ready.

3.      STOP GOING AFTER LADIES WHO ARE THEMSELVES – Yes I said so. Please stop all that drama. Stop it please! Haba! You want a woman who:

·         Is homely

·         Not make-up reliant

·         Comfortable in her natural hair

·         Is down to earth and is comfortable in her own self

·          Does not give two hoots about what you think about her

·         Who would order eba over chicken and fried any day and lick her plate, no forming

·         Bla! Bla! Bla!

The list is long.  Please guys such ladies are going extinct, especially as you guys ain't yourselves all the time. Mgbeke no dey reign again you never hear? We ladies do not like stress plus we want to be at our best at the same time. Support this cause, please?

Homely woman kwa? Homely is not romantic or sexy joor. Please go for the opposite. Make up is very important, infact she should sleep in it. Natural hair is such a bore. Who started that movement anyway? If she is phoney that is a huge plus because she would represent you excellently anywhere.

4.      INSIST ON WIFELY DUTIES – Guys, guys, guys, why would you wait till your umpteenth date to let her know that she needs to be available to clean, cook and take care of your every need? This should be your opening line! Ladies like to plan ahead and prevent mishaps. Such surprises are not welcome, so why wait? We ladies like you men all confident and focused. Not some confused bunch of bonzos who aint sure of what they want. I cannot emphasize this enough. When you feel like your liver is failing you in this area, just tell yourself – “ I am the man”.

5.      SEX IS IMPORTANT – You know this, so I will not dwell on this issue. If she loves you she will give you some always. If she isn’t do your research, one Johnny somewhere may just be moving your cheese. Yes. (stop gaping and get to work).

6.      AN IDLE LADY IS YOUR BEST BET (Who needs an ambitious lady these days?) – One guy was telling me how his girlfriend no longer has time for him because she is always busy at work. I just could not imagine the extent of his ignorance. Guys do not crucify me yet, I am on your side. Really, why date a woman who has a job or handwork in the first place? One secret I must let out is that women do not enjoy work or fending for themselves. At some point a woman must choose between her job/handiwork and her man. Whilst making that decision the only consideration she should have in the equation is your well being. You are that important. Do you know how hard it is to find a man these days? Take a look around you bro, if you ain’t feeling like a champ by now am sorry you are a loser.

I will stop here for now. Wait were you expecting that I would give you all my tips? That’s bad market. Try these ones first and if you indeed get a decent lady, it means you did not apply these farcicial tips to your lives.

Cheers!

P.S – Now that you get my drift, read again and DO NOT apply the above tips!

Please share your own "tips" in the comment box, do not be an Island! Thank you.