LIFE AS SHE SEES IT : VICTIM by Adesuwa

Sola’s head was banging. She wished there was a way she could just make the activities playing in her head go still.

“Kai…” she winced.

She had been thinking non-stop for over two weeks now. She gently massaged her temple and glanced at the nurses busy at the counter in the reception room. If it were another hospital, she would have been impatient, but Bcee’s wellness center was one of the best.

She decided to take her mind off her pounding head and took in her surroundings… a fussy baby and his mother sat at the far corner of the room, the baby had refuted all attempts to pacify him in the past 10 minutes. 

“is not better for him to just cry so we know that he is crying…” she muttered to herself. To her it was better than having him crawling over his mum and making a mess of the whole place with the piece of bread he was holding. At that thought she knew she was officially sick.

In the midst of her musings, a lady came and sat just beside her.

“Good morning” she greeted, giving her a quick glance.

“Hello” the lady replied rather flippantly and adjusted her shades.

Sola shifted, and thought to herself “na me find trouble o! kilon je ‘hello’?...” and why was she wearing thick shades indoors? She looked at her watch, they had told her she would wait 30 minutes, she had 15 minutes to go. She was here for an MRI scan…this was the fifth time she was going through this procedure. Her doctor advised that a full scan of her head be done, especially of her brain since the drugs prescribed hardly worked… she was getting tired of needles, white walls and that stringent antiseptic smell. The last time she cried while being injected with contrast dye, not because of the pain but because she felt so helpless… She shook off the thoughts and sighed deeply.

“Ebi! Sorry for keeping you waiting” one of the nurses rushed to the lady’s side. “Sorry eh, I saw your message late this morning”

It was obvious that the lady and the nurse had a personal relationship. “oh oh? Eyaa!  she must have been crying that’s why she wore the shades! Me and my thoughts sef!” Sola chided herself

“hmmmm..” the lady broke in tears, as she did the nurse helped her take off the shades and she flinched, while the nurse looked away.

Sola gasped as the shades came off, she didn’t know when she did. The lady had an ugly gash just above her eyes. It looked like she had tried to stop it from bleeding with violet paint… the skin around the wound was discoloured, and needed care…

”what happened to you!”  the nursed asked in shock.

The lady hurriedly stood up and beckoned on the nurse to follow her, while muttering “I fell”.

Sola still sat frozen and like a movie, some acts played in her head. That was how she used to tell her friends…”I fell”. She had been married until last week. She looked down to her fingers, the marks of her wedding band was still visible. She kept replying a scene in her head…

She was hurriedly trying to finish up dinner for her husband “I’m coming!” she called out. This was the second time he had shouted her name. She was clearly shaking…if only she left work 5pm on the dot, she would not need to rush dinner. While making frantic efforts, he came in….

“Sola kilon se e?! Is it that a man is not allowed to eat in his house again?! And I have been calling you, you didn’t come?! Ahnahn”! he was boiling

She trembled, “Oko mi e ma binu, dinner is almost ready. Please give me 10 minutes and I…” she was still talking while facing the cooker trying to salvage the situation, when she heard “BANG!” on the side of her head. Next she lay crumpled on the floor, jerking, slowly ebbing out. He had use the toaster to hit her. 

She was experiencing a seizure, as she faded into oblivion she recalled her doctor saying “Mrs Ademola, you need to stay away from your husband. If this continues I would have you checked into a rehabilitation home. It is not normal to want to keep living in such condition. This is the eighth time you have been rushed here, incessant seizures would damage your brain and you could become sort of an epileptic.”…her seizures had started some months ago, she was told that it was as a result of being hit repeatedly on her head…that day Jide had pushed her from the top of the stairs, she lost their baby…

She followed her Doctor’s advice and packed of her matrimonial home. She had enlisted Justina’s help because she was still weak from the recent ordeal and was felt numb. Justina was her childhood friend. That day Jide had gone to work, so they hurriedly packed her things and left. She was yet to inform her Mother about her decision to leave her home. The last time she confided in her mother, she concluded her life was in her hands…

“Sola! Sola! Sola! How many times have I called you? Men are like that. They always want to show they are in charge. Just be respectful, be humble, shower him with praises…” Her mother advised, and as she went on and on, Sola knew she had to act fast and immediately deleted her Mother from the equation.

She felt someone nudging her arm and came back to reality, a nurse was standing beside her, touching her arm lightly “madam, the doctor would see you now” the normal procedure was for the doctor to examine her to be sure she was safe to do the scan and then she would be injected with contrast dye, this makes certain tissues and blood vessels show up more clearly and in greater detail.

She turned her lost eyes to the nurse and slowly got up…”My head aches” she whispered but loud enough for the nurse to hear. Where did she go wrong? Jide used to love her so much. What changed? She noticed his domineering attitude while they courted but she dismissed it, because he was always quick to make amends and shower care on her. Clearly, something snapped when they got married. It started with verbal abuse, then he started slapping her and soon he graduated to beating her to a pulp.

“oh sorry about that, you would be given some pain killers….” And the nurse kept talking. Sola was in her own world, she heard nothing.

N. B- This is for all women who have been victims of abuse, whether physical, emotional or psychological. My heart goes out to you all, please and please get help while you can. It is not cowardice to seek help and to admit weakness.

ADESUWA